funny best friends quotes and sayings

Although no sculptured marble should rise to their memory, nor engraved stone bear record of their deeds, yet will their remembrance be as lasting as the land they honored. ~Daniel Webster


Dreams digest the meals that are our days. ~Astrid Alauda, Dyspeptic Enlightenment


The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion. ~Henry Steele Commager


There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort. ~Jane Austen


Righteousness is easy in retrospect. ~Arthur Schlesinger Jr.


Nothing contributes so much to tranquilize the mind as a steady purpose - a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye. ~Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley, Frankenstein, 1818


Then there's the joy of getting your desk clean, and knowing that all your letters are answered, and you can see the wood on it again. ~Lady Bird Johnson


People always think something's all true. ~J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye, Chapter 2


I believe... that security declines as security machinery expands. ~E.B. White


In the dying world I come from quotation is a national vice. It used to be the classics, now it's lyric verse. ~Evelyn Waugh, The Loved One, 1948


The amazing thing since so many variables enter into historical judgments, is not that historians disagree but that they agree as often as they do. ~Louis Gottschalk, Understanding History


Widespread caffeine use explains a lot about the twentieth century. ~Greg Egan, "Distress"


To live alone one must be a beast or a god, says Aristotle. Leaving out the third case: one must be both - a philosopher. ~Friedrich Nietzsche


Lovely female shapes are terrible complicators of the difficulties and dangers of this earthly life, especially for their owners. ~George du Maurier


The great business of life is to be, to do, to do without, and to depart. ~John, Viscount Morley, Address on Aphorisms


You are sad because they abandon you and you have not fallen. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin


All bicycles weigh fifty pounds. A thirty-pound bicycle needs a twenty-pound lock. A forty-pound bicycle needs a ten-pound lock. A fifty-pound bicycle doesn't need a lock. ~Author Unknown


A cat, after being scolded, goes about its business. A dog slinks off into a corner and pretends to be doing a serious self-reappraisal. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


How can a man marry wisely in his twenties? The girl he's going to wind up wanting hasn't even been born. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened. ~Theodor Seuss Geisel, attributed Don't cry when the sun is gone, because the tears won't let you see the stars. ~Violeta Parra