funny quotes for men

I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones. ~Author unknown, attributed to a 4-year-old named Lauren


A few minutes ago every tree was excited, bowing to the roaring storm, waving, swirling, tossing their branches in glorious enthusiasm like worship. But though to the outer ear these trees are now silent, their songs never cease. Every hidden cell is throbbing with music and life, every fiber thrilling like harp strings, while incense is ever flowing from the balsam bells and leaves. No wonder the hills and groves were God's first temples, and the more they are cut down and hewn into cathedrals and churches, the farther off and dimmer seems the Lord himself. ~John Muir


A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone. ~Henry David Thoreau


A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone. ~Henry David Thoreau


Sex is something I really don't understand too hot. You never know where the hell you are. I keep making up these sex rules for myself, and then I break them right away. Last year I made a rule that I was going to quit horsing around with girls that, deep down, gave me a pain in the ass. I broke it, though, the same week I made it - the same night, as a matter of fact. ~J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye, Chapter 9


The same passions in man and woman nonetheless differ in tempo; hence man and woman do not cease misunderstanding one another. ~Friedrich Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil


You become responsible forever for what you've tamed. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery, The Little Prince, 1943, translated from French by Richard Howard


My soul is continually in my hand: yet do I not forget thy law. ~Psalms 119:109


Playing the game I have learned the meaning of humility. It has given me an understanding of futility of the human effort. ~Abba Eban


Do I like my coffee black? There are other colors? ~Author Unknown


He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from opposition; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach himself. ~Thomas Paine


It is to the credit of human nature, that, except where its selfishness is brought into play, it loves more readily than it hates. Hatred, by a gradual and quiet process, will even be transformed to love, unless the change be impeded by a continually new irritation of the original feeling of hostility. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter


When he wrote a letter, he would put that which was most material in the postscript, as if it had been a by-matter. ~Francis Bacon, "Of Cunning," Essays


The passion to get ahead is sometimes born of the fear lest we be left behind. ~Eric Hoffer, The Passionate State of Mind, 1954


You can never go home again, but the truth is you can never leave home, so it's all right. ~Maya Angelou


American means white, and Africanist people struggle to make the term applicable to themselves with ethnicity and hyphen after hyphen after hyphen. ~Toni Morrison, Playing in the Dark: Whiteness and the Literary Imagination, 1992


A person doesn't know how much he has to be thankful for until he has to pay taxes on it. ~Author Unknown


Justice is the tolerable accommodation of the conflicting interests of society, and I don't believe there is any royal road to attain such accommodation concretely. ~Judge Learned Hand, in P. Hamburger, The Great Judge, 1946


Among provocatives, the next best thing to good preaching is bad preaching. I have even more thoughts during or enduring it than at other times. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


Nothing travels faster than light, with the possible exception of bad news, which follows its own rules. ~Douglas Adams