poems for best friends

Masturbation: the primary sexual activity of mankind. In the nineteenth century it was a disease; in the twentieth, it's a cure. ~Thomas Szasz


People must have renounced, it seems to me, all natural intelligence to dare to advance that animals are but animated machines.... It appears to me, besides, that such people can never have observed with attention the character of animals, not to have distinguished among them the different voices of need, of suffering, of joy, of pain, of love, of anger, and of all their affections. It would be very strange that they should express so well what they could not feel. ~Voltaire, Traite sur la tolerance


Sex: the pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable. ~Lord Chesterfield


The maxims of men disclose their hearts. ~French Proverb


My father always told me, "Find a job you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life." ~Jim Fox


The value of consistent prayer is not that He will hear us, but that we will hear Him. ~William McGill


Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. ~George Carlin


I have learned to live each day as it comes, and not to borrow trouble by dreading tomorrow. It is the dark menace of the future that makes cowards of us. ~Dorothy Day


After about 20 years of marriage, I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of that one. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. ~Mel Gibson, about what women want


Scrapbooking isn't about scraps of paper and photos. Scrapbooking is about scraps of life - yours and those special to you. ~Rebecca Sower


It's wonderful to watch a pretty woman with character grow beautiful. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


I can't believe that out of 10,000 sperm, you were the quickest. ~Steven Pearl


No one can keep his griefs in their prime; they use themselves up. ~E.M. Cioran


Civilization advances by extending the number of important operations which we can perform without thinking of them. ~Alfred North Whitehead


I believe that men are generally still a little afraid of the dark, though the witches are all hung, and Christianity and candles have been introduced. ~Henry David Thoreau, "Solitude," Walden, 1854


Charming people live up to the very edge of their charm, and behave as outrageously as the world lets them. ~Logan Pearsall Smith


The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant. ~Salvador Dali


Young wives are the leading asset of corporate power. They want the suburbs, a house, a settled life, and respectability. They want society to see that they have exchanged themselves for something of value. ~Ralph Nader


It is a mathematical fact that fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class. ~Author Unknown


One should either be a work of art, or wear a work of art. ~Oscar Wilde