funny quotes for birthdays

Virtues are dangerous as vices insofar as they are allowed to rule over one as authorities and not as qualities one develops oneself. ~Friedrich Nietzsche


When I break any of the chains that bind me I feel that I make myself smaller. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin


Just as a candle cannot burn without fire, men cannot live without a spiritual life. ~Buddha


Drag is when a man wears everything a lesbian won't. ~Author Unknown


Quilters never grow old, they just go to pieces. ~Author Unknown


So dear I love him, that with him all deaths I could endure, without him live no life. ~John Milton


Only in love are unity and duality not in conflict. ~Rabindranath Tagore


What's done to children, they will do to society. ~Karl Menninger


Man simply cannot live as the time-animal and the art-animal that he is, without history. ~Carlton J.H. Hayes


A simple and irrefutable argument to knock creationism on its ass: (1) Humans are a mistake - subproof: opposable thumbs and enlarged brain capacity are the combined number one factor in the increasingly speedy destruction of planet Earth. (2) God doesn't make mistakes. (3) Therefore, God couldn't have created people. ~Cassus Garrulitas


Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime. ~Ernest Hemingway


If we're not willing to settle for junk living, we certainly shouldn't settle for junk food. ~Sally Edwards


The difference between a jogger and a runner is an entry blank. ~George Sheehan


Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences. ~Isadora Duncan


Or don't you like to write letters. I do because it's such a swell way to keep from working and yet feel you've done something. ~Ernest Hemingway


Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. ~Doug Larson Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. ~Doug Larson


When some high-sounding institute states that a compound is harmless or a process free of risk, it is wise to know whence the institute or the scientists who work there obtain their financial support. ~Lancet, editorial on the "medical-industrial complex," 1973


You and I are not what we eat; we are what we think. ~Walter Anderson, The Confidence Course, 1997


Democracy is an experiment, and the right of the majority to rule is no more inherent than the right of the minority to rule; and unless the majority represents sane, righteous, unselfish public sentiment, it has no inherent right. ~William Allen White (Thanks, Bob)


My opinion is that anybody offended by breastfeeding is staring too hard. ~David Allen