funny poems for friends

"Why, flowers are violent, cruel, terrible and splendid... like love!" He picked a ranunculus which gently swayed its golden head above the grass beside him, and with infinite delicacy, slowly and amorously, he turned it between his fat red fingers, from which the dried blood scaled off in places: "Isn't it adorable?" he repeated, looking at it. "It's so little, so fragile, and besides, it's all of nature; all the beauty and power of nature. It contains the world. A puny and relentless organism which goes straight to the goal of its desire! Ah, milady, flowers do not indulge in sentiment. They indulge in passion, nothing but passion. And they make love all the time, and in every fashion. They think of nothing else; and how right they are! Perverse? Because they obey the only law of life; because they are satisfied with the only need of life, which is love? But consider, milady, the flower is only a reproductive organ. Is there anything healthier, stronger, or more beautiful than that? These marvelous petals, those silks, these velvets... these soft, supple, and caressing materials are the curtains of the alcove, the draperies of the bridal chamber, the perfumed bed where they unite, where they pass their ephemeral and immortal life, swooning with love. What an admirable example for us!" ~"The Garden," Chapter 6


They kill good trees to put out bad newspapers. ~James G. Watt, quoted in Newsweek, 8 March 1982


Nothing got without pains but an ill name and long nails. ~Scottish Proverb


DNA was the first three-dimensional Xerox machine. ~Kenneth Boulding, "Energy and the Environment," Beasts, Ballads, and Bouldingisms, 1976


Wear a smile and have friends; wear a scowl and have wrinkles. ~George Eliot


To escape criticism - do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. ~Elbert Hubbard


It's not the men in my life, it's the life in my men. ~Mae West


There is no ghost so difficult to lay as the ghost of an injury. ~Alexander Smith


A leader is a dealer in hope. ~Napoleon Bonaparte


Nothing compares to the simple pleasure of a bike ride. ~John F. Kennedy


Trip over love, you can get up. Fall in love and you fall forever. ~Author Unknown


Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off. ~Author Unknown


God can never be a definition. He is more than even the entirety of the dictionary. ~Terri Guillemets


There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it. ~George Bernard Shaw


I am woman! I am invincible! I am pooped! ~Author Unknown


It's always been and always will be the same in the world: The horse does the work and the coachman is tipped. ~Author Unknown


The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person. ~P.J. O'Rourke


The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention. ~Thich Nhat Hanh


Frugality is one of the most beautiful and joyful words in the English language, and yet one that we are culturally cut off from understanding and enjoying. The consumption society has made us feel that happiness lies in having things, and has failed to teach us the happiness of not having things. ~Elise Boulding


Insanity is hereditary - you get it from your kids. ~Sam Levenson