funny birthday quotes for dad

Freedom is never free. ~Author Unknown


The groves were God's first temples. ~William Cullen Bryant, "A Forest Hymn"


I was seized by the stern hand of Compulsion, that dark, unseasonable Urge that impels women to clean house in the middle of the night. ~James Thurber


The greater the mental charlatan, the more definite his insistence on the wickedness and weaknesses of human nature. Yet how can anyone speak of it today, with every soul in a prison, with every heart fettered, wounded, and maimed?... With human nature caged in a narrow space, whipped daily into submission, how can we speak of its potentialities? ~Emma Goldman, Anarchism


Ultimate office automation - networked coffee machines. ~Author Unknown


Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery, Wind, Sand and Stars, 1939, translated from French by Lewis Galantiere


Laughter is the corrective force which prevents us from becoming cranks. ~Henri Bergson


When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them. ~George Bernard Shaw


You sometimes see a woman who would have made a Joan of Arc in another century and climate, threshing herself to pieces over all the mean worry of housekeeping. ~Rudyard Kipling


But the moment you turn a corner you see another straight stretch ahead and there comes some further challenge to your ambition. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.


The law condemns and punishes only actions within certain definite and narrow limits; it thereby justifies, in a way, all similar actions that lie outside those limits. ~Leo Tolstoy, What I Believe


Sex is something I really don't understand too hot. You never know where the hell you are. I keep making up these sex rules for myself, and then I break them right away. Last year I made a rule that I was going to quit horsing around with girls that, deep down, gave me a pain in the ass. I broke it, though, the same week I made it - the same night, as a matter of fact. ~J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye, Chapter 9


Those who promise us paradise on earth never produced anything but a hell. ~Karl Popper


To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right. ~Confucius


A history in which every particular incident may be true may on the whole be false. ~Thomas Babington Macaulay


Everybody should believe in something; I believe I'll have another drink. ~Author Unknown


We are seldom happy with what we now have, but would go to pieces if we lost any part of it. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel across the country from coast to coast without seeing anything. ~Charles Kuralt, On the Road With Charles Kuralt


It is questionable if all the mechanical inventions yet made have lightened the day's toil of any human being. ~John Stuart Mill


It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it. ~G.K. Chesterton It is the true office of history to represent the events themselves, together with the counsels, and to leave the observations and conclusions thereupon to the liberty and faculty of every man's judgment. ~Francis Bacon, Advancement of Learning